17 SEPTEMBER
45 years | Transsexual | Melbourne
Ad ID: au9rnwrhl

JoJo Katt Online: Helping you beat off the lockdown blues

The Year is 2021: The entire city of Melbourne suffers through - THE LOCKDOWN
Covid runs the streets by day, and vaporises humans at night from 9pm-5am. No one understands the logic of the new laws, but most citizens abide as they are handed down by the Lords & Ladies of the Presser. Sometimes they abide begrudgingly, like when the toilet paper stash gets low

"TP CRITICAL 943 ROLLS" flashes in a loud shade of red across their eyes, permeating their every thought until they think no more.

"Going shop - we low clean…arsething" a household member shouts. They feel bittersweet; they get to escape the confines of their spacious four bdr + study + DLUG home, but they have to fight the slow, yet vicious Mrs Arnold of Box Hill in a re-match for the last tattered 2-pack of rolls. Various cries come from all 5 bathrooms: "Quick...number 3!", "be safe sugarcube", "hhhnngghgh", and "elbow to the head from the choccy shelf - it's her weak spot, her Hun in the Sun", and "Just peeing".

"...how does a 4 year old know about the Hun in the Sun…ah, home-school" they confirm out loud, as they reverse onto the over lit, suburban street and start pre-visualising the fight in aisle 5 with Mrs Arnold of Box Hill…

They never make it back. The hastily written coroner's report merely noted "Deceased: Cause: Vaporised by covid. Time: 9:01pm (CCTV). Location: Red carpark again. Red and Scarlet carpark colour codes clearly not working."

*JO JO GOES ONLINE*

Hey! I've been noticing that this latest lockdown, especially the curfew, is making a lot of people feel shitty, so I've worked out a way to get a win win for all. Free noods!

I always use a tame set of pics on ads because I want YOU to see all of me in the flesh first, however for each of those la…um…tame pics, there are at least a handful of totally fkn UN-tame pics and vids. I get asked for a different pic frequently, some innocently, some hoping for a free pic out of a fake booking.

*HERE'S THE DEAL*

You pay $50 and you get ONE of the following six options:

• 20 pics (many noods)
• 10 mins of vids (8 + 2 made for U)
• a mix of pics and vids (1 vid made for U)
• 10 minute live video call with me
• 6 months access to my Snapchat
• 6 months on OnlyFans (in USD)

AND
A $50 REDEEMABLE DEPOSIT for a booking.

*THE DEPOSIT means*

• YOU can make a booking up to 2 weeks ahead
• I will not shift the booking time
• YOU get priority if you need to shift the time
• YOU get your $50 back when you pay for your booking (see my "Rates" pic and subtract $50)
• YOU get your $50 back if I can't make the booking
• I get the security of knowing that the bookings are genuine, and not people wasting my fkn time. They exist, and they suck.

NOTE: Don't even think of booking early and then cancelling later to get the $50 back - it WON'T WORK. You can only postpone once, for up to two more weeks. They're my bits in those pics. You paid for them. You got them. Don't want to see/touch them in pe


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